It is Friday morning at 10:00 am and I am sitting at Cornerstone Coffeehouse in Camp Hill. One of my "goals" of spring break (since I actually had nothing I really needed to do) was to write a blog entry at a coffee shop. So here I go. Since I am on a quest to be healthier and save money (the impending car purchase is freaking me out and making me feel like I can't spend any extra money), I just ordered a small black coffee. No latte and no treat. So that's a little boring, but still good. There is a table full of annoying Camp Hill socialites nearby who are talking about all the important people and what they're up to. It's a little sickening.
Break has been great. I think I've been more productive than usual, partly because I haven't slept past 7:30. I've been running every day. The weather has been beautiful! Until now, I've only been running on a treadmill at Planet Fitness, and it's been really fun to run outside here in Camp Hill. I just keeping thinking how green and quiet the suburbs seem. It is the beginning of spring, so I'm sure it's extra green. But it's sooooo quiet here. It just seems peaceful. The city always seems loud and full of concrete. Even the parts that are probably fairly quiet and have grass and trees.
I also did some weeding for my mom. I found out this summer that I actually enjoy weeding. It's very satisfying. I've been thinking a lot about the parable of the sower and the seeds that fell among the weeds (or thorns) and what weeds represent in my life. It's become quite an extended metaphor in my head. In Matthew, right after that parable is the Parable of Weeds (in Matthew 13) and that's interesting too.
Other highlights include seeing my wonderful (and engaged!) friend Jenn, playing Monopoly (and winning) with Maddie, playing the guitar, eating big salads with my family, and of course, the customary trip to the consignment shop. Added bonus: there's a NEW consignment shop that's where the old Wears Like New used to be. Woohoo! I got a lot of stuff and some great deals.
Last entry I wrote about getting scratched. I still have the mark from that actually. Well, the day after I got scratched, I got punched in my arm a few times. This was definitely the most intentional physical violence I've experienced so far in my teaching career. My little buddy Marcus has still been having a really rough time, especially for about the first 90 minutes of the day. He's just miserable and mean. At morning meeting, he started flailing and kicking when he didn't get called on for something and he'd had a number of other offenses already, and then he actually kicked the kid next to him, so I sent him to time out. I really didn't have another choice at that point, even though I know being sent to time out sometimes makes him freak out (sometimes it works like it's supposed to with him though so I haven't completely stopped using it). So I told him to go to time out, and he refused and started to have a major tantrum. I dismissed the rest of the class for snack so no one got hurt, and then I went over to him. I talked to him really calmly and told him that he wasn't in trouble (debatable) and that he needed to go to time out to calm down and get back in control of himself. I reached out to put my hand on his arm, and that's when he started to punch me. Hard. It took me until about the third punch to realize "Hey, he actually punched me. And he's still doing it. Ouch." He stopped when I told him to and I think realized as much as he was able what he had done. He followed me around crying while I called Ms. Carter on the walkie-talkie. No one answered the first time (sadly typical. No one's fault, just a result of the Urban Promise way of giving everyone too much to do and giving no one specifically defined roles), but then she came the second time. She decided to send him home and suspend him for the next day.
His mom came to pick him up about 30 minutes later. She was acting calm (which is not always the case when he gets in trouble) but clearly very, very angry at him. I am sure he got hit hard when he got home. Which is really why all of this happened in the first place. He is terrified of getting into trouble because he's scared of his mom. And to him, getting time-out represents getting into trouble. So he refuses to go to time-out and punches me to get me to leave him alone. And I try in a million different ways to try to make him understand that if he doesn't want to get in trouble with his mom, he needs to stop hurting people or calling them names or throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Or just go to time-out the first time I tell him and then I won't have to call his mom. And I'm not sure he's capable of understanding that right now. Which equals endless frustration for me. And for him too.
I feel really strongly that parents should not beat/hit their kids. The kids in my class have learned to react violently to other people. Sure, I tell them that it's not OK, but for a lot of them, it's what's been done to them and is still done to them. That's how they've seen some grown-ups in their life deal with things. And I really don't fault the parents. A lot of them don't know any other ways to discipline...it's what they've experienced. And it is a quick fix. And it's what's culturally acceptable. I have never told a parent not to hit their kids though. I've gotten close. But I am not a parent, and I don't yet feel comfortable confronting the parents that way. I work hard to earn their respect by listening to them and showing that I want to partner with them. And for the most part, it's worked so far. So maybe now it's time to take that next step. Not by telling them what to do, but by standing up for what I believe is right and best of these kids I love. And maybe planting seeds that there are other things for parents to do than beat their kids.
Parent education is something I've been interested in for a while now. When I read Whatever It Takes, the story of Geoffrey Canada and the Harlem Children's Zone, I was especially interested in their "Baby College" program for parents who are expecting or have a new baby. They teach parenting skills (everything from feeding them properly, discipline, reading to your kids, etc.) and money skills and connect them with community resources. I think it's a great idea. Someday I'd like to be involved in a program like that. I really love the parents I work with. I've learned that this year. They are great. They really, really love their kids. And I want to help them. I don't think I currently have the resources or knowledge to do that, but maybe someday.
I suppose this is long enough. And my coffee is gone, plus my two pieces of candy I brought along. And I kind of want to go to Goodwill and look for a new pair of jeans and a sundress.
Wow...hard to believe I'm going to back to school Monday. Last stretch! 2 months till summer!
I think I might survive!
Break has been great. I think I've been more productive than usual, partly because I haven't slept past 7:30. I've been running every day. The weather has been beautiful! Until now, I've only been running on a treadmill at Planet Fitness, and it's been really fun to run outside here in Camp Hill. I just keeping thinking how green and quiet the suburbs seem. It is the beginning of spring, so I'm sure it's extra green. But it's sooooo quiet here. It just seems peaceful. The city always seems loud and full of concrete. Even the parts that are probably fairly quiet and have grass and trees.
I also did some weeding for my mom. I found out this summer that I actually enjoy weeding. It's very satisfying. I've been thinking a lot about the parable of the sower and the seeds that fell among the weeds (or thorns) and what weeds represent in my life. It's become quite an extended metaphor in my head. In Matthew, right after that parable is the Parable of Weeds (in Matthew 13) and that's interesting too.
Other highlights include seeing my wonderful (and engaged!) friend Jenn, playing Monopoly (and winning) with Maddie, playing the guitar, eating big salads with my family, and of course, the customary trip to the consignment shop. Added bonus: there's a NEW consignment shop that's where the old Wears Like New used to be. Woohoo! I got a lot of stuff and some great deals.
Last entry I wrote about getting scratched. I still have the mark from that actually. Well, the day after I got scratched, I got punched in my arm a few times. This was definitely the most intentional physical violence I've experienced so far in my teaching career. My little buddy Marcus has still been having a really rough time, especially for about the first 90 minutes of the day. He's just miserable and mean. At morning meeting, he started flailing and kicking when he didn't get called on for something and he'd had a number of other offenses already, and then he actually kicked the kid next to him, so I sent him to time out. I really didn't have another choice at that point, even though I know being sent to time out sometimes makes him freak out (sometimes it works like it's supposed to with him though so I haven't completely stopped using it). So I told him to go to time out, and he refused and started to have a major tantrum. I dismissed the rest of the class for snack so no one got hurt, and then I went over to him. I talked to him really calmly and told him that he wasn't in trouble (debatable) and that he needed to go to time out to calm down and get back in control of himself. I reached out to put my hand on his arm, and that's when he started to punch me. Hard. It took me until about the third punch to realize "Hey, he actually punched me. And he's still doing it. Ouch." He stopped when I told him to and I think realized as much as he was able what he had done. He followed me around crying while I called Ms. Carter on the walkie-talkie. No one answered the first time (sadly typical. No one's fault, just a result of the Urban Promise way of giving everyone too much to do and giving no one specifically defined roles), but then she came the second time. She decided to send him home and suspend him for the next day.
His mom came to pick him up about 30 minutes later. She was acting calm (which is not always the case when he gets in trouble) but clearly very, very angry at him. I am sure he got hit hard when he got home. Which is really why all of this happened in the first place. He is terrified of getting into trouble because he's scared of his mom. And to him, getting time-out represents getting into trouble. So he refuses to go to time-out and punches me to get me to leave him alone. And I try in a million different ways to try to make him understand that if he doesn't want to get in trouble with his mom, he needs to stop hurting people or calling them names or throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Or just go to time-out the first time I tell him and then I won't have to call his mom. And I'm not sure he's capable of understanding that right now. Which equals endless frustration for me. And for him too.
I feel really strongly that parents should not beat/hit their kids. The kids in my class have learned to react violently to other people. Sure, I tell them that it's not OK, but for a lot of them, it's what's been done to them and is still done to them. That's how they've seen some grown-ups in their life deal with things. And I really don't fault the parents. A lot of them don't know any other ways to discipline...it's what they've experienced. And it is a quick fix. And it's what's culturally acceptable. I have never told a parent not to hit their kids though. I've gotten close. But I am not a parent, and I don't yet feel comfortable confronting the parents that way. I work hard to earn their respect by listening to them and showing that I want to partner with them. And for the most part, it's worked so far. So maybe now it's time to take that next step. Not by telling them what to do, but by standing up for what I believe is right and best of these kids I love. And maybe planting seeds that there are other things for parents to do than beat their kids.
Parent education is something I've been interested in for a while now. When I read Whatever It Takes, the story of Geoffrey Canada and the Harlem Children's Zone, I was especially interested in their "Baby College" program for parents who are expecting or have a new baby. They teach parenting skills (everything from feeding them properly, discipline, reading to your kids, etc.) and money skills and connect them with community resources. I think it's a great idea. Someday I'd like to be involved in a program like that. I really love the parents I work with. I've learned that this year. They are great. They really, really love their kids. And I want to help them. I don't think I currently have the resources or knowledge to do that, but maybe someday.
I suppose this is long enough. And my coffee is gone, plus my two pieces of candy I brought along. And I kind of want to go to Goodwill and look for a new pair of jeans and a sundress.
Wow...hard to believe I'm going to back to school Monday. Last stretch! 2 months till summer!
I think I might survive!
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