I'm home for the weekend. Hence the title. I think I am indeed regaining my sanity, probably only to lose most of it again this week. This week was very up and down. Tuesday and Thursday were pretty good days. Thursday at the end of the day the kids said to me, "Miss Seefeldt, you're smiling!" That was nice. But it's a shame that I must be smiling so rarely that they feel the need to point it out when I am. Because it's basically a fact that I typically smile all the time.
I had some volunteers in my class this week, which was in a lot of ways nice. Sometimes I think it added to the chaos though. Wednesday morning Miss Lisa volunteered in my class. She is a mom who homeschools her kids and comes to UrbanPromise twice a month to do a craft with kindergarten. She is so sweet, and I felt horrible (as well as really embarrassed) that the kids were so out of control and that some of them were really disrespectful to her. I started to cry a little on the playground when she was leaving, because she said about how she'll be praying for me, but that she'd also be calling up friends to be prayer warriors for me and the class because she feels like it's necessary. I was just overcome by the realization that, yes, it actually is that bad. But since it is and I can't change that at the moment, I am thankful to have so many people lifting me and the students up in prayer.
There were continued improvements in some of the students. And I realized this week that I need to start being myself! I've been trying too hard to be "firm" or "tough," and it's not working for me because it's not me. God has equipped me, and I need to trust that. I definitely have a whole, whole lot to learn and so many areas where I can improve, but I think I need to be who He's created me to be and not try to be someone else.
There's so much more that I've been reflecting about, but I think I'll leave it at that for now. Also, I shared my story in house devotions this week. For some reason, it ended up being much more hilarious than serious, but it was SO good to laugh and feel like myself, so I'm glad. My class also did some really funny things this week, so it was great to laugh about that as well. And the staff house is always hilarious too. I need to start writing all these things down--I think it could be very good book material. And I've learned that I apparently enjoy baking as a form of stress release...I baked three days after school this week.
I'm basically constantly thinking about my class, even now that I'm home. I woke up in the middle of the night wide awake thinking about different strategies to try next week.
I still would appreciate your prayers, especially this week for the students who are still completely resisting my authority, and also that I would be myself this week and show more love for the students as opposed to harshness. And for continued energy, joy, and perseverance!
I had some volunteers in my class this week, which was in a lot of ways nice. Sometimes I think it added to the chaos though. Wednesday morning Miss Lisa volunteered in my class. She is a mom who homeschools her kids and comes to UrbanPromise twice a month to do a craft with kindergarten. She is so sweet, and I felt horrible (as well as really embarrassed) that the kids were so out of control and that some of them were really disrespectful to her. I started to cry a little on the playground when she was leaving, because she said about how she'll be praying for me, but that she'd also be calling up friends to be prayer warriors for me and the class because she feels like it's necessary. I was just overcome by the realization that, yes, it actually is that bad. But since it is and I can't change that at the moment, I am thankful to have so many people lifting me and the students up in prayer.
There were continued improvements in some of the students. And I realized this week that I need to start being myself! I've been trying too hard to be "firm" or "tough," and it's not working for me because it's not me. God has equipped me, and I need to trust that. I definitely have a whole, whole lot to learn and so many areas where I can improve, but I think I need to be who He's created me to be and not try to be someone else.
There's so much more that I've been reflecting about, but I think I'll leave it at that for now. Also, I shared my story in house devotions this week. For some reason, it ended up being much more hilarious than serious, but it was SO good to laugh and feel like myself, so I'm glad. My class also did some really funny things this week, so it was great to laugh about that as well. And the staff house is always hilarious too. I need to start writing all these things down--I think it could be very good book material. And I've learned that I apparently enjoy baking as a form of stress release...I baked three days after school this week.
I'm basically constantly thinking about my class, even now that I'm home. I woke up in the middle of the night wide awake thinking about different strategies to try next week.
I still would appreciate your prayers, especially this week for the students who are still completely resisting my authority, and also that I would be myself this week and show more love for the students as opposed to harshness. And for continued energy, joy, and perseverance!
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